So my doctors appointment was last Wednesday and they did blood draws including a pregnancy blood draw. All of my levels came out normal. Just waiting on the blood pregnancy test. As far as it goes with my depression, I have been doing way better. My doctor is one amazing doctor. He really cares. He increased my anti-depressants to 40 mg. Which I had asked him to do. Since he previous prescribed me to 20. I have been taken 2 which equals 40 and that seems to help me way better. I truly do feel blessed to have my mother in my life. She raised two kids with no father figure in my life besides my stepdad who was in my life for 9 years who recently passed away from liver cancer. She always made sure that we had a roof over our heads and food to eat. Only if I could be as strong as she is. I pray to God everyday to be as strong as she is.
so in the last two days I got a job interview. I also got hired for the job. We also ran into people from a church who gave is 50.00 SA card and a 50.00 cub foods card. That also gave us food for our children. God sure does work in mysterious ways. May everyone love God and appreciate God the way I do and so does my family.
So I have many battles I am trying to defeat right now. I have a schedule made for me to see if I have breast cancer. I also have some family members saying that I am trying to get attention which isn’t true. I was also told that breast cancer doesn’t hurt. It can actually hurt. I have deleted those who were bringing me down out of my life. I need support not people trying to bring me down. I know God will work this all out for me. I surely hope that if I do have breast cancer they will catch it in time. I pray to God every night to make sure everything is going to be okay. Breast cancer runs in both sides of my family so I actually have a higher risk of getting it. I just hope that people who will find out about it will pray for me. Thank you so much for everyone’s support and love.
This is from Psalm 71: In you, Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame. In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me; turn your ear to me and save me. Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress. Deliver me, my God from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel. For you have been my hope, sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you. I have become a sign to many; you are my strong refuge. My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long. Do not forsake me when my strength is gone. For my enemies speak against me. Those who wait to kill me conspire together. They say, “God has forsaken him; pursue him and seize him, for no one will rescue him.” Do not be far from me, my God; come quickly, God to help me. May my rescuers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered in disgrace. As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds; of your saving acts all day long- thought I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your might acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things. Who is like you, God? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again, from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort once more. I will praise you with the harp for you faithfulness, my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, Hole one of Israel; My lips will shout for joy when i sing praise to you- I whom you have delivered. My tongue will tell of your righteousness acts all day long; for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.
Today was a great day for me with my depression. Although, I haven’t done much housework lately. Tomorrow is my day to do housework. I am determined that I will get my housework done. I also have a doctor appointment next week. Also, an eye doctor appointment next month in august. Thank god for health insurance. I don’t know where I would be without health insurance. I thank God everyday for everything that I have. I also believe that God has bigger and better plans for me in my lifetime. I truly appreciate everything that has been given to me and also handed to me. Also appreciate my family for helping me my place where my boyfriend and I and our children live. Nothing goes unappreciated with me. I truly do appreciate everything that happens in my life.
Today as I sit here debating whether or not to go outside and enjoy the weather or to just sit here and try to find a job. I really think that the outdoors is great for me but then again, finding a job is very important too. I really enjoy spending time with my eight year old girl and five year old boy. I think after I apply for a few jobs I will go and enjoy my time outside. I also know that being depressed has to do with your healthy activity. I also enjoy going for walks with my dog Dexter. I really enjoy time alone as well. Today has been a great day for me. Without the support of my family I truly think that I would not be where I am today.
Today is one of my better days dealing with my depression. I am so thankful that I have the family to be able to lean on for support. WIth out them I don’t know where I would be. I would also like to thank my friends for being there for me through my ups and downs. I really feel like the more people that need support will get it. Even if they ask for help from their family, friends, loved ones. I also believe that depression can become a serious issue. Most of the people that don’t ask for help eventually commit suicide. That is not okay. People need to know and learn more about depression. WIth out God I know I wouldn’t have asked for help.